‘Have You Had The Talk?': Breaking The Silence

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. (Feb. 13, 2014) — Mary and Tom Haarman blended their families from previous marriages 21 years ago; their children are now grown with families of their own.

They recently decided it was time to finally bring up the conversation with their children for the first time talking about their end of life plans.

Sometimes that is the hardest part, just getting the talk started, especially if your children still see you as healthy and active, the topic of death and dying may not be on people’s minds.

“I was a little bit anxious about it when it was first brought up because I wasn’t sure how it all was going to play out, what we were going talk about but then we all sat together and it kind of fell into place,” Tom said.

Researchers say what most people are afraid of is not necessarily the dying process but apparently being a burden to their families, but by bringing up this conversation early it can help alleviate that level of concern or anxiety.

It can also allow parents or loved ones to maintain that level of control in their decision making.

“When you can make some of your own decisions around what you would like or your care or your mass you maintain some control and that’s really important as we age, we lose so much of it,” Mary said.

In fact it can help bring a family together, and as Mary says having a plan in place can be gift to not only them but their children.

 For more information and the tools you need to start your own conversation: http://www.haveyouhadthetalk.com/toolkit.php

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1 Comment

  • Kathi

    This is usually a conversation parents think to have with their children/grandchildren, but singles need to do this, too.
    The past several years I have learned a lot while helping my parents navigate living/care/financial decisions, and it made me realize that, as a middleaged single person, I need to set up things, too.
    There is very little information for singles about writing a will, appointing a health advocate to make decisions if a single is unable, and someone to handle bills. I don't want a stranger make decisions for and about me and my stuff if something happens to me. I don't think I am being morbid by approaching this topic. I think I am being responsible and loving my family and friends by making these decisions and putting things in place. If I marry, things may change or they may not, but waiting until I am married to make these decisions and have these conversations is not realistic.