Woman’s ‘none of your business’ Facebook post about children goes viral

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ANN ARBOR, Mich. — A Michigan woman’s Facebook post about procreation is getting a lot of attention online.

In Emily Bingham’s post, she wrote “this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Bingham, who works as a freelance writer, said the questions can be hurtful for those deciding when to have children and others who struggle with infertility. She goes on to say it’s a sensitive topic that people need to be careful about discussing.

“I had dinner with some of my boyfriend’s family, and someone had made a joke about grandkids, pointed at me, and it wasn’t the first time I’d had somebody make a comment like that,” Bingham told the Detroit Free Press. “I’m 33. I’ve never been married. I’ve had people say things like, ‘You’re getting older, do you want to have kids? Your clock is ticking.'”

The post has been shared nearly 40,000 times.

“Hey everyone!!! Now that I got your attention with this RANDOM ULTRASOUND PHOTO I grabbed from a Google image search, this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family … before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works … before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking … just stop. Please stop. You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids. You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever. You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration. Sure, for some people those questions may not cause any fraught feelings — but I can tell you, from my own experiences and hearing about many friends’ experiences — it more than likely does.

Bottom line: Whether you are a wanna-be grandparent or a well-intentioned friend or family member or a nosy neighbor, it’s absolutely none of your business. Ask someone what they’re excited about right now. Ask them what the best part of their day was. If a person wants to let you in on something as personal as their plans to have or not have children, they will tell you. If you’re curious, just sit back and wait and let them do so by their own choosing, if and when they are ready.”

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13 comments

    • Kevin Rahe

      (And if you don’t want anyone to ask YOU those questions, just drop comments about the problems contraceptives cause for one’s health and relationships into everyday conversations with friends and family. They’ll get the idea.)

        • Kevin Rahe

          I like to think that I can belly up to the bar and have a mug of suds with anyone, but in all honesty, these topics rarely come up at the parties I go to. My wife and I have never had to drop such comments to anyone, because our family and close friends knew that the way we chose to live our lives meant that questions like, “When are you going to have kids?” were irrelevant and unnecessary.

          • Kevin Rahe

            If the most likely reason for a married couple not having children were fertility issues, do you think people would pry as much as they do now, when they expect that the most common reason is a deliberate act?

          • Slade

            “You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids. You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever.”

          • Kevin Rahe

            There are legitimate reasons to avoid or delay pregnancy, but they are far more rare than the number of people using contraceptives at any given time – probably more rare than infertility. And if someone NEVER wants to have children, they shouldn’t be getting married in the first place, for they are just setting themselves up for a battle against their own body and/or that of their spouse.

            Tell you what. Ask someone who remembers the 1940s or 1950s whether married couples without children were pestered about when they were going to have them back in those days. I’d wager it was rather rare compared to today.

          • Kevin Rahe

            Just look at the list you posted, Slade. 50 years ago if a married couple didn’t have children, it probably WAS for a serious reason like infertility, serial miscarriages, health issues (which probably meant no relations out of concern for the wife) or relationship troubles (in which case there were probably also no relations). But today it’s more likely that the reason a couple isn’t having children is NOT that serious, or is perhaps even selfish. So people today naturally feel freer to inquire about what’s holding a couple back, or even to goad them into getting things moving in that department. It’s just an artifact of the changes in our culture.

  • Ella

    People get butt hurt about everything nowadays. Just tell them it’s none of their business or better yet ask the person when they are going to lose weight, or color their hair etc….. I swear people posting all their “Feelings” on social media just makes them look like attention whores.

    • Slade

      Agreed- my wife and I got those questions when we were first married and wanted to wait to have children until we were ready. We quickly established that it was our business.

  • Justin Moore

    Just another idiot crying about how offended they are about something. Be an adult, control your feelings and brush it off. Im sure whoever pissed you off enough to make you go off on a Facebook rant, didn’t really mean to offend you. Suck it up. Its life. There will always be people that do things that you don’t like. Your parents should have taught you that if they were any good. Also, its pretty sad that the news picked this up. There must not be anything of real importance to report on.

  • Commonsense

    This woman is like most liberals who look for something to be offended about. Shut up already. We don’t care if you are offened or not. Why does she think she is so important that others care that she is offended or not. Why does she think she can tell others what to say or not say?