Rekindling your relationship

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In preparation for Valentine's Day, it's time to talk about something that people are usually embarrassed to mention: sex. While some people make resolutions about exercising or saving money, some make resolutions to rekindle the love with their partner or spouse.

Dr. Diana Bitner, a nationally recognized menopause specialist from Spectrum Health, says many women have concerns or questions about sex. According to multiple medical surveys, up to 80 percent of women have issues in the bedroom, but only 20 percent of them will bring it up to a medical professional.

A lesser known fact is that 20 percent of doctors will bring up the subject when a patient comes to visit them. This issue is so common because the topic of sex can become uncomfortable, time consuming, or maybe they just don't know which questions to ask. However it's important to know that patients shouldn't be afraid to talk to their doctor; it's the first step to get comfortable talking about sex.

Dr. Bitner says there are multiple concerns with women who want to be intimate with their partners in the bedroom. Women have talked about wanting to have sex, but are afraid of what will happen during or after the fact. They're afraid of their spouse being upset about their performance or asking what they want, afraid of pain during sex, insecure with their body and appearance, and other factors.

Mental barriers can also hinder a sexual relationship between a couple. Dr. Bitner says there are lots of relationship issues that can get in the way of good sex and wanting sex like smaller issues such as a small argument or disagreement, to more serious issues such as prior abuse and infidelities either person has experienced. In order for a relationship to move forward, these issues need to be addressed and taken care of so the couple can heal and move on.

At the end of the day, it's always best to talk to your spouse about sexual desires and problems. By talking through desires, issues, concerns, and insecurities, it can lead into a constructive conversation about how to move forward with your sex life.

Dr. Bitner says Valentine’s Day is a good starting point for fun conversation, and can lead to a whole New Year of good sex. Just decide how important sex is to you and your relationship, think about what makes it hard, and what steps you could do to make it better.

If there are more serious concerns like pain and relationship issues that talking won't solve, seek out a doctor and ask for help.

Dr. Bitner's office is located at 3800 Lake Michigan Drive Northwest, Suite A. To schedule an appointment with her, call (616) 267-8225.

All information was provided by Dr. Diana Bitner and her blog. Read more.

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