GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. -- Before you complete a typical work shift, or get a full night of sleep, another person in Michigan will likely take their own life. On average, a person dies in our state from suicide every seven hours.
This month, FOX 17 is exploring the sensitive subject, and the impact, when a mother is the one who commits suicide, leaving behind her children and family.
'It's almost triggering'
Megan Vos is a mother of six and a longtime blogger. Online is where she pushes back on the idea of perfection by candidly writing about life's ups and downs.
"Last spring a couple of moms in our community committed suicide, and I have struggled in my own life with anxiety and depression," Vos told FOX 17 News. "It's almost triggering for other women who are struggling, you hear that and think, oh, that's an option?"
Vos tackled the subject in a blog titled #Mayday this summer. The piece resonated with multiple women in West Michigan.
"As women we've created sort of this world in which we need to have everything put together and all the ducks in a row," she explained. "It became really important for me to speak up and and to offer another way... suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
In her blog, Vos suggests the idea of using a "safe word" like 'mayday,' as a distress signal for a woman who is struggling to say, or even text, to quickly get help.
"If you're in such a dark place that you feel like you can't go on anymore, you send this word and we will come," Vos said. "It's OK to not have it all together."
'Suicide is not a choice'
Vonnie Woodrick founded the non-profit 'I understand,' after losing her husband to suicide. She offered this explanation for why a mother could take her own life, even though there are others depending on her.
"They don't want to hurt their family, but I think they're so far down, that... they feel like the best thing for their family is to live without them and not be a burden."
'I understand' supports those affected by suicide and mental illness.
Woodrick is also working to change the perception of suicide, by changing the conversation when someone takes their life.
"Every 40 seconds in the US, we lose someone to suicide," Woodrick said. "That's 45,000 people a year... We believe that suicide is not a choice, it's a side effect of an illness."
She added, "I think the more we talk about it in that way, the more we can change the perception... People don't choose illness. Depression is not a choice, nor is cancer, nor is heart disease."
Suicide rates on the rise
Although it can be hard to track the true number of suicide cases due to stigma, we know middle aged women have had the largest jump in suicide rates: 63 percent since 1999. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also says more than half of the people who died by suicide had no known mental health condition.
"It's stress and being vulnerable to stress, is one one of the reasons why this is happening and we're seeing it more," explained Dr. Madhavi Nagalla, a psychiatrist with Pine Rest. "And, the stress could be wanting to be that perfect mother."
Dr. Nagalla works with women who are struggling with mental health, including postpartum depression. She said there are a number of stressors to consider.
"The risk factors definitely are considered to be women who are young, women who are unemployed, women who have any financial stressors, but obviously the first and foremost is going to be any psychiatric history in the past... Even when assessing for risk factors, motherhood is considered to be a predictive factor in general."
Her advice if you believe someone you love is struggling: talk to them and encourage them to seek out professional help.
"Do not be afraid to ask for help, it's actually a sign of strength."
'I'll never be the same'
Andrea Forsyth is adjusting to a new normal without her mother. Forsyth found her three days after she killed herself this past April.
"It will haunt me forever," she told FOX 17 News. "I'll never be the same... She left one note that just said 'I am so sorry.'"
Forsyth explained her mother was "hijacked" by depression, sending her downhill over the past decade.
"She had it all, like her life on paper was perfect, but her mental illness just took over...She just became a shadow of her former self," she explained. "She recognized it, but she felt powerless to stop it."
Forsyth also felt powerless to help her, despite repeatedly encouraging her mother to seek treatment.
"She just couldn't help it, I mean, who would choose that?" she said. "I have come to terms with the fact that there's nothing we could have done...I know that she loved me so much and was so proud of me. And, I like to think that I got the best of her, and the worst of her is at peace."
'It's OK, to not be OK'
Forsyth is now sharing her story and working with 'I understand.'
"After [my mom] died, I said to myself that there has to be some good that comes out of her death."
Like Vos, she is hoping to raise awareness and reach as many people as possible, hopefully saving some lives.
"Society has to make it so much less taboo," she said. "People just have to know that it's OK, not to be OK. And don't judge."
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can also text "GO" to 741741.
