ZEELAND, Mich. — An Ottawa County family wants to turn pain into purpose after their teenage son died by suicide last month.
As Dustin and Amy Ver Beek flip through their family photo albums, each page brings back memories of trips, birthdays and more, happy times they wish to recreate but no longer can.
“It’s total shock, like your mind can't even comprehend what the person is saying to you because it was so uncharacteristic of him,” says Amy. “I mean, we still have moments where we're like, ‘Is this even real?’”
At the start of September, the couple’s 14-year-old son Max died by suicide.
“He was quite quiet and reserved, but when you spent time with him, he'd let his guard down and then you'd see the real him,” recalls Dustin. “He wanted to be an internet entrepreneur.”
They described him as typical teenager who liked to hang out with friends and play basketball.
“We just went camping right before he passed and, you know, we're all in the tent, Max wants to sleep out in my Jeep,” Dustin explains. “The top’s down and it starts raining and that kid, he would not come in the tent. He just laid the back of the Jeep and got wet. He was like that. He kind of beat to a different drum.”
Max recently started his freshman year at Zeeland West too. His parents thought he adjusted to the new environment well but say that changed the night of the school’s first football game.
“Instead of helping, people decided to hurt and pull out their phones and, you know, be cruel,” says Dustin. He explains two hours after it started, he received a call that Max got sick and needed to be picked up.
Once there, Dustin says an administrator told him they suspected drugs or alcohol.
Eventually, while at home, Max admitted he drank some vodka a classmate gave him.
“We just made sure though to tell him, you know, we know you messed up, but we're here for you, we love you, [and] everything's gonna be fine,” says Amy.
According to her, they took his phone away and put him to bed for the night.
However, the next morning, the couple could not find Max or their car.
They reported him missing and say within the hour, Allegan County sheriff’s deputies showed up to tell them Max crashed the vehicle into a tree along 137th Avenue in Overisel Township.
“We say ‘before Max’ and ‘after Max’ and that was ‘after Max’ moment number one,” says Dustin.
The day after his death, Dustin and Amy began to receive messages and calls about pictures and videos reportedly taken by other students then posted to Snapchat. They allegedly showed Max throwing up at the game.
Shortly after, they found an old phone in his room with Wi-Fi access. The couple believes he saw everything from that night then acted out of fear and embarrassment.
“The pieces started kind of coming together as of, you know, what had happened in his mental state,” Amy recalls. “I mean, we feel like his decision to get in that vehicle and do what he did, we know for sure in our hearts, knowing our son that that would not have happened if he had not been intoxicated and if he had not seen all of the stuff on social media.”
Six weeks later, Amy and Dustin now question how their son’s death happened at all.
“I think it's a culture problem, absolutely … the culture problem starts at the top,” Dustin speculates.
A spokesperson for the district declined an on-camera interview but in a statement said in part:
“Zeeland Public Schools offers our deepest condolences to the family and friends affected by this tragic loss. We are dedicated to the safety, security, and well-being of all our students. Our thoughts are with those impacted, and we remain committed to providing support and resources to our students and community during this difficult time. While we are unable to make any public comments on the investigation or disciplinary actions surrounding this tragic event, ZPS conducts thorough investigations on all reported situations and follows through with appropriate and necessary action when needed and within the district's authority.”
In the meantime, the couple started a website dedicated to Max’s honor. Dustin says it’s about to hit 50,000 visitors.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide rates for youth and young adults ages 10 to 24 years old increased 52% between 2000 and 2021.
It’s also their second-leading cause of death.
“I've talked probably three or four people off the ledge already, through messaging and through Maxwell's Facebook page,” says Dustin. “So I know we're making a difference.”
Within the next few months, they hope to start a nonprofit organization that can raise more awareness and keep Max’s memory alive.
“We want to make sure that he didn't die for no reason at all,” says Amy. “We can't have him back. That's not an option but what we can have moving forward is change. … And our goal is to try to save other teens from making the same mistakes and in order for that to happen, there has to be, you know, change from administration, stronger consequences for the actions that have taken place.”
Dustin and Amy plan to attend a Zeeland Public Schools board meeting on Monday to further voice their concerns.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, here are a few resources from the National Institute of Mental Health:
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): For general information on mental health and to locate treatment services in your area, call SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). SAMHSA also has a Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator on its website that can be searched by location.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Call or text 988
The Lifeline provides 24-hour, confidential support to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Call or text 988 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.
