It’s not enough to care for someone else—now we have to focus on ourselves, too?
Yes—yes, you do.
There’s a trend right now of saying ‘you can’t fill from an empty cup!’ and (where it seems like a pithy reiteration of thousands of years of mental health euphemisms) it’s true.
Caretakers—whether taking the form of a professional or everyday loved one—have one of the most difficult jobs and often overlook their own well-being.
Honestly, it’s often because of guilt. We feel blessed, responsible, or honored someone has come to us for help and we feel bad putting up a boundary.
But what if we change the boundary we used instead of getting rid of them altogether?
Personal boundaries are often thought of as a wall—a rigid, unyielding thing that stands between a driving force and something in need of protection.
But after time those walls get worn out by outside pressures—even the wind can leave its mark—and eventually the whole thing crumbles.
Sound familiar?
Priority Health gave us their list of common signs of caretaker burn-out for you to look out for:
- Changes in your own mental and/or physical health
- Feeling tired, run-down, or resentful
- Neglecting responsibilities or hobbies
- Increased eating, smoking, or drinking
These symptoms can snowball—especially if they’re ignored, so don’t.
You—just like the person you’re caring for—deserve to have the peace that comes with mental health care.
Whether you’re taking care of someone physically or emotionally, remember the only way you can is if you are able.
A wall has its place, but you've dedicated yourself to letting people in. You need a better tool.
Have you ever looked at the seal around something that needs to be waterproof or air-tight but also accessible?
The most effective way to protect everything from food temperatures to our lives in some cases (airplane doors, anyone?) while allowing people to get inside is by using a seal around the access point.
The seal works with its surroundings, instead of against them, and is made of a strong, flexible material that can allow access without losing its efficacy— and can be replaced as needed while maintaining the integrity of the structure.
It also gets help from the other parts of the structure— from the weight of your fridge door and the insulation in your favorite travel mug, to the lock on the airplane hatch.
Are there any boundaries in your life that might benefit from being a seal rather than a wall?
—One day mental health care won’t need sneaky euphemisms for validation.—
Today, though we ask the caretakers in our communities to take a moment to care for themselves and find ways to protect their mental health while giving of themselves.
RELATED RESOURCES: May is Mental Health Awareness Month
Think you might be in need of some additional support? Reach out. Your doctor and loved ones can help!
If you or someone you know needs mental health help or is considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or visit them online.
If you are in crisis, call 988. You are not alone.
