Editor's note: Tori is blogging about rebounding from unemployment due to the coronavirus pandemic at My Rebound by FOX 17. She is currently working one shift as a bartender at the River Stop Saloon in Newaygo and hopes to go back to work soon as a cosmetologist at The Freckled Fawn in Fremont. She is married and lives in Fremont.
I am terrified. I am sad. And I am full of so many emotions that I don’t know what to do with. We’ve had protests happening all over the country right now. Is the coronavirus still relevant at this point?
MY REBOUND: SEE ALL OF TORI'S POSTS
I know it still is, but it’s still something I think about when I see the news.
I took my emotions, and I took this beautiful day, and I went for a walk. There’s a new trail that some Newaygo residents have been working on, that I’ve been dying to see, so my husband and I took the day to go exploring.
We talked about the protest. We talked about the virus. We talked about our future and what to do next. We expressed our love for the scenery and our love for all of our friends. I stared at some wildflowers and found some cool rocks along the pathways. My emotions were still bottled up inside, but for an hour, I completely forgot about all of them.
As we walked along the trail, we saw piles of trash where people had picked up every piece of garbage along the trails to keep it clean. There were small walkways that went down to the river's edge where you could sit on a log and enjoy the views. It was peaceful. Somewhere you could go and get away from what is happening in the world, and just for a short time, I felt peace.
Mental health is something that isn’t widely talked about for some reason, but I feel like people should be screaming about it. I myself struggle with depression and anxiety, and sometimes it’s hard to battle them. I have good and bad days just like everyone else.
MY REBOUND: SEE MORE BLOG POSTS
But lately with everything going on, I just feel so defeated. You’ve got people fighting in the streets, and people fighting each other on social media, and people battling the virus, and you just can’t seem to get away from the negativity and sadness, and after awhile, it just really takes a toll.
I really felt myself struggling at the beginning of all of this. It was cold outside. I was stuck at home and was alone all the time. It made it hard to keep myself together sometimes. I would search for self-care lists and would pick things from the list to go and do to make myself feel better. I would make myself do so many things even though everything inside me didn’t want to. Although I let it get to me sometimes, I still find the strength to fight it and not be so afraid. Let’s face it, depression never really goes away, but you can fight it!
I had found a lot of my support through Facebook groups and friends. I had friends that were basically going through the same things as me, so it was nice having them to communicate with and understand what I was feeling.
But the stress of it all never seems to really go away, no matter how hard we try. Unfortunately. this is not something that anyone could’ve ever prepared for and not knowing what is going to happen next has us all at the edge of our seats, waiting for the next move.