GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. -- Studies show that 4 million children are exposed to domestic violence every year. The immediate effects are increased anxiety and intense worry about safety, but the long-term effects can be even worse.
Mary Teske was hiding from her abuser for several weeks before he ambushed her inside her home. She was beaten bloody and fighting for her life, and her children witnessed the whole thing.
"My daughter was flung from my arms," Teske said. "My other daughter was screaming and crying 'Mommy, mommy' and he was throwing me all over the place."
It wasn't the first time her children witnessed their father beating her. It happened many times over a span of nine-and-a-half years.
"My daughter Moriah still remembers a little bit," Teske said. "She used to have night terrors and come down very upset and she woke me up several times and would say 'Mommy, you're bleeding, you're bleeding.' And I would have to calm her down and say 'Honey, I'm okay. You just had a bad dream.'"
The National Child Traumatic Network says kids exposed to domestic violence often learn destructive lessons and are at risk of becoming abusers themselves.
"Children that are seeing this and suffering in situations with the abused, it culminates and repeats itself," said Detective Sgt. Chad McKersie with Grand Rapids Police Department. "That child will grow up learning that behavior is okay."
Stopping domestic violence is difficult, especially when women know the consequences of escaping can be worse than a beating. In many cases, it ends in death.
"I was very afraid because of the threats," Teske said. "Threatening to burn down my home, threatening to kill me, threatening to kidnap my children and leave the state."
Matt Klemp with the YWCA works to rehabilitate the abusers. He says the only way to stop the cycle of violence is to start with the source.
"Why should anyone care about a person who has committed a crime like that? Well, because they are still part of the community and in a lot of cases they are still involved with our families," he said.
Klemp says many boys learn at a young age that aggressiveness and violence defines a man.
"We haven't done a good enough job with our songs yet... Masculinity has an aggressiveness to it, and we are making progress but we aren't there yet," he said.
If you are in immediate danger or feel unsafe, call 911.
YWCA 24-Hour Confidential Crisis Line: 616-451-2744
For all other YWCA Domestic Violence Services call 616-459-4652 (business hour only). For more information on other services you can head to their website.
Safe Haven Ministries' also has a 24/7 hotline at 616-452-6664.
